Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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