It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just pee around me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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