I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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