I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
When are your genitals available?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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