It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
