i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
