So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
