He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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