I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.