i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
as a side note pls kill me
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