If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.