You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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