..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am one with the molecules
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
