Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
