I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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