Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
