He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
