I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize