I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
