i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
