something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
sarcasm needs its own font
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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