He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
