she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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