I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
