Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
