Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
