im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Someone shit on the floor
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize