I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize