So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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