Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
