Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
