I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
