I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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