thus making me awesome and them whores
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
