I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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