Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
