I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize