It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
