How'd it feel making her break her religion?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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