My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I believe in your delicious
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
