Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
