16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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