I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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