eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
