I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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