I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't want my vagina anymore.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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