if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
