maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
