My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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