Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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