So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
