my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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