I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
