# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
