I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
