U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize