idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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