Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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