Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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