i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
