The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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