Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
