haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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