her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Boobs are out for the taking
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize