WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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