do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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