I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
