So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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