five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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