i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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