Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
