a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
